— For a moment i feel like a fraud

For a moment I feel like a child pretending to be an adult. Wearing heels that don’t match my size, painting my face with pretty colours. I don’t think that’s necessarily bad. In fact, I enjoy trying to look pretty. I thank God no one is pressuring me.

But I wonder am I the only one, among these people, I stand with, who feel like a lost. because I can't reach the handle grip, supposedly the only thing that should keep your balance when you didn't get the seat. I let myself sway. Moving according to gravity. Because the more we resist the more likely we will fall.

Sometimes I imagine a faithful meeting. A forever lover, in a short glance. But I realize this is probably our last meeting. And that's okay because life isn't a movie anyway. Most things end before we take the chances. The truth is, I still long to be saved and to be loved. But after being alone for a long time, it feels okay too. Not in the way I wanted to feel sorry to.

Maybe this is growing up. We are always a bit scared. And that's okay. And maybe, among this people, I am not the only one who felt lost.

My train arrived. The train platform is too high for me, I wouldn't be surprised if someday I fall. But I hope not.